Odyssey of an Esoteric Seeker

My Journey Out of Organized Religion

Embarking on a transformative odyssey away from the confines of organized religion, my personal pilgrimage has unfolded gradually, meandering through the realms of spiritual exploration. Like the gentle dance of time, my soul has undergone a profound evolution, leading me along a winding path towards the sacred realms of esoteric Christianity—the mystical gateway to inner illumination.

While the echoes of my past resonate as an ordained Lutheran pastor, the shifting tides of my journey compelled me to embrace a new dawn, transferring my ordination credentials to the enigmatic realm of Esoteric Interfaith—a sacred tapestry where diverse spiritual threads intertwine in harmonious unity.

Embarking on a journey through the realms of fundamentalism and charismania, I found myself captivated by their allure. They provided a solid foundation for my spiritual exploration, granting me valuable insights along the way. However, as time passed, I sensed a longing within me to delve deeper, to push the boundaries of my understanding.

Restlessly, I questioned the doctrines and teachings that had once seemed absolute. In the realm of fundamentalist Christianity, I discovered the weight of "Group Think", a collective consciousness that confined my inquiries to a predetermined framework. The mere act of asking questions outside these established boundaries was met with the threat of social exile, leaving me torn between my curiosity and the fear of isolation.

Regrettably, as the years unfolded, I found myself gradually drifting away from my fundamentalist and charismatic Christian companions. Our paths diverged, our minds traversing vastly dissimilar landscapes of thought and belief. The chasm between us widened, a testament to the transformative power of introspection and the unique journey each of us undertakes.

While the loss of those friendships weighs upon me, I find solace in the realization that my relentless pursuit of truth has led me to explore new realms of understanding. For it is in the quest for knowledge and the courage to challenge the status quo that our spirits truly awaken, propelling us on a path of growth and illumination, even if it means bidding farewell to familiar shores.

Esoteric vs Exoteric

So, what exactly is esoteric Christianity? Imagine two distinct facets of Christianity, each unveiling a unique perspective on the path of spiritual discovery. Enter the realm of exoteric Christianity, where the outer teachings proclaim that following Jesus is the Way—the sacred path that guides seekers toward truth and salvation. Here, the emphasis lies on the external, the tangible, and the overt.

Now, let your imagination soar into the captivating domain of esoteric Christianity—a realm that delves into the innermost depths of the human spirit. Here, a profound revelation awaits, for the inner "I Am" is unveiled as the true Way. It becomes the very Door that opens to transcendence, the ethereal conduit that connects you to the magnificent "I Am" residing within every individual.

In this extraordinary tapestry of esoteric Christianity, the distinction between souls dissolves, and the invisible threads of unity bind us all. It is the mystical Vine that intertwines your being with the universal "I Am," a sacred essence that beats within the core of every living being. Across time and space, this divine connection remains constant and unifying, inviting seekers to embark on a profound inner journey—a pilgrimage to the sacred truth that resides within.

Secret Society

Thomas Smolley, the author of “Inner Christianity” writes that the Christian faith may originally have been closer to a Lodge or a secret society. A letter found by Morton Smith in 1958 by Clement of Alexandria describes a secret Gospel by Mark written in Alexandria “for those being perfected” … “leading them to the innermost sanctuary of truth hidden by the 7 veils. There is intriguing evidence that suggests Christianity has a hidden side, rooted in secret knowledge. This evidence goes beyond subtle clues in the canonical Gospels and Clement's intriguing fragment.

Dionysius the Areopagite was a sixth century theologian who said, “it was a prescribed and holy custom in the church not to communicate the most secret dogma in writing, but only by voice and to those who had been properly initiated.”

And then, we have the towering figure of Origen, surpassing even the esteemed patriarch Clement. With an audacious stride, Origen dares to challenge conventional beliefs and ventures into the uncharted territories of the preexistence of souls. His captivating arguments echo through the annals of time, resonating with the notion of reincarnation—the mystical dance of souls before they embrace earthly existence.

Intriguingly, Origen unveils his grand vision. A concept known as apocatastasis, it envisions a breathtaking finale where all things converge, a celestial tapestry woven with threads of redemption. Astonishingly, this vision encompasses even the nefarious Devil himself, as the orthodox Christian teachings of the early 2nd to 3rd centuries embraced the idea of his potential salvation.

Smolley writes of a particularly striking piece of evidence that lies within a mysterious work called the Gospel of Thomas. In the 19th century, fragments of this Gospel were discovered in the original Greek. However, it was only in 1945, as part of a collection of scriptures found in Nag Hammadi, Egypt, that the complete text of the Gospel of Thomas was uncovered, translated into Coptic.

Gospel of Thomas

The Gospel of Thomas is remarkably concise and straightforward. It consists of 114 sayings of Jesus, often in the form of short teachings or stories, with minimal narrative content. The very simplicity of Thomas suggests its great age, possibly predating the canonical Gospels and having a closer connection to the time of Christ. Its structure bears resemblance to "Q," an elusive collection of sayings, now lost, that many scholars believe served as a primary source for the Gospels of Matthew and Luke.

Equally fascinating is the picture painted by the Gospel of Thomas. In this portrayal, Jesus does not preach about the end of the world, perform miracles, or claim to be the long-awaited Messiah of the Jewish people. Instead, the Jesus of the Gospel of Thomas cryptically refers to a secret knowledge that brings spiritual liberation. In the opening verse, he states that "Whoever finds the interpretation of these sayings shall not experience death." The Gospel of Thomas, like Clement's fragment of Mark, even hints at the concept of initiation, adding to its enigmatic nature.

Peculiar Dream

Several years ago, I had a detailed dream. In this ethereal realm, I found myself wandering, my steps guided by the allure of returning home. Yet, as I followed the familiar street signs of my old neighborhood, a curious phenomenon unfolded—a disorienting dance that led me astray. Every attempt to traverse the path I believed would lead me home only propelled me in the opposite direction, engendering a sense of both frustration and wonder.

As I emerged from the dream's embrace, a profound realization coursed through my being—a whispered truth that transcended the confines of conventional understanding. Jesus, in his earthly embodiment, indeed carried the essence of the Christ, but the Christ transcends the earthly realm, reaching far beyond the physical form of Jesus himself. It became clear to me that the Key lay not solely in discovering definitive answers, but rather in unlocking the gateway to profound revelations. Christ, the sacred Key, held within its essence the transformative power to unlock the mysteries that lay hidden within the depths of existence.

It became clear to me that the message in my dream was an answer to my search for esoteric meaning and the hidden truth of the ancient texts including the Bible and the non-canonical scriptures i.e., the Gospel of Thomas and others.

Leaving organized religion was painful. It was a way of life for half of my years on this planet. I felt compelled to step into the realm of truth and liberation, where the deceit of religion unravels. No longer was I bound to worship a distant deity beyond my grasp. Instead, I uncovered the essence of being—the Higher Self, the profound inner presence that doesn't seek an external God. It resides within each and every one of us, quietly whispering, "I AM."

Esoteric Christianity is a lonely road, but a revealing road. Believers need the group, but seekers of knowledge and wisdom follow a lonely path that leads to hidden gold nuggets of truth. Embrace the divine connection to your highest self.

If you found this interesting, I recommend reading the “Unveiled Mysteries” by St. Germain and the “I Am Discourses”.

Peace,

Barry